One way that I figure I can work up my self-confidence about publishing is to try and publish a poem. One poem published would make me feel as I have never felt in my life.
Here are two that I've recently composed. Tell me what you think.
Rain
Early morning rain
Hastens sleepy desires
Pillow calls me back
Melting
From the eaves,
remnants of long removed ivy
are visible.
One slender icicle
d
a
n
g
l
e
s
from a stubbornly clingy vine
like a mobile.
The shimmering sun glistens through
its facets, beautifully destroying its form.
We, too, dangle and will succumb to
the formalities illuminated by the light.
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Monday, June 21, 2010
What a school year!
I'm always one of the last people on staff to finish all my grades. I am endlessly disorganized and suffer completely from self-diagnosed ADHD. If I can find an activity, no matter how mundane, that does not involve grading papers, I'm there. Well, almost any activity. I am now in the midst of cleaning my house. I have just located the corner of the dining room side board (I think it's called that). It had been buried under a massive pile of papers for most of the school year. I'd like to publicly apologize to my son for allowing the house to become a pig sty. Of course, this is all he knows, so a mess is normal.
I've chronicled some of the events that happened this past school year. I've flipped out over the testing pressure we were all feeling. I've mentioned the fights. But good things did happen. Here are just a few.
My student teacher kicked ass. That's such an 80s thing to say, but it's true. He comes to the profession a little older (31) than most college grads and with tons of crappy job experience. He understands the value of an education and the dull monotony of dead-end jobs. I think that his passion for the job comes from his "real world" experiences. An English teacher from our school retired and while he might not get that job, if he doesn't get a job somewhere in the district, I will shake my head forelorningly (not a word, I don't care) for ages and ages hence.
My friends Laurie, Laura, and John kept me sane when I was most likely to lose all hope. They are like family to me and I would just die if any of them abandoned me at the high school. Thankfully, in two weeks Laurie accompanies me to Columbus and Chicago to see Squeeze and we have meet and greet tickets for the Columbus show. That's right Glenn Tilbrook, I'm looking at you, longingly with desire warming my soul.
Uhhh anyway, I also made new friends. For one, there's the English teacher who I had previously categorized as straight-laced. I learned better one evening over Bloody Marys as we debated the proper spelling of the adverbial form of the word "fucking." It's a great word and I'll post my thoughts on it later. Additionally, I can't forget the teacher who taught me how to play Keno while spiking my Bailey's with his Irish Catholic/Irish Protestant/Irish Buddhist whiskey. Yeah, but he plans on taking a job at the middle school next year (where, they aren't even human), so he's dead to me.
Finally, I have an awesome new Executive Board for next year's Student Council. If they can stay focused, they will give the class of 2002 a run for their top class title.
My summer starts in earnest today. I'm cleaning and straightening while I write. The National Writing project at Eastern Michigan starts on Thursday. After that, I'll be tied up with Creative Writing camp. I want to take Andrew somewhere, anywhere this summer - even for just a weekend. In the meantime, I better get back to the household chores that I've been neglecting since September.
I've chronicled some of the events that happened this past school year. I've flipped out over the testing pressure we were all feeling. I've mentioned the fights. But good things did happen. Here are just a few.
My student teacher kicked ass. That's such an 80s thing to say, but it's true. He comes to the profession a little older (31) than most college grads and with tons of crappy job experience. He understands the value of an education and the dull monotony of dead-end jobs. I think that his passion for the job comes from his "real world" experiences. An English teacher from our school retired and while he might not get that job, if he doesn't get a job somewhere in the district, I will shake my head forelorningly (not a word, I don't care) for ages and ages hence.
My friends Laurie, Laura, and John kept me sane when I was most likely to lose all hope. They are like family to me and I would just die if any of them abandoned me at the high school. Thankfully, in two weeks Laurie accompanies me to Columbus and Chicago to see Squeeze and we have meet and greet tickets for the Columbus show. That's right Glenn Tilbrook, I'm looking at you, longingly with desire warming my soul.
Uhhh anyway, I also made new friends. For one, there's the English teacher who I had previously categorized as straight-laced. I learned better one evening over Bloody Marys as we debated the proper spelling of the adverbial form of the word "fucking." It's a great word and I'll post my thoughts on it later. Additionally, I can't forget the teacher who taught me how to play Keno while spiking my Bailey's with his Irish Catholic/Irish Protestant/Irish Buddhist whiskey. Yeah, but he plans on taking a job at the middle school next year (where, they aren't even human), so he's dead to me.
Finally, I have an awesome new Executive Board for next year's Student Council. If they can stay focused, they will give the class of 2002 a run for their top class title.
My summer starts in earnest today. I'm cleaning and straightening while I write. The National Writing project at Eastern Michigan starts on Thursday. After that, I'll be tied up with Creative Writing camp. I want to take Andrew somewhere, anywhere this summer - even for just a weekend. In the meantime, I better get back to the household chores that I've been neglecting since September.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Please proofread
I am applying for a grad program in teaching writing and I need to include a personal statement with the application. Please read my statement below and tell he how it sounds. Thanks!
As a high school teacher in the state of Michigan, the most obvious reason for returning to school is to accumulate enough credits to maintain my professional license. Keeping my license up-to-date is not my sole motivation, however. I am fifteen years into my teaching career and I feel that I need some fresh, research-based strategies to improve my teaching style and help my students achieve better academic outcomes. I believe that Eastern Michigan's Teaching of Writing Certificate program will help me help my students become better writers.
From the moment I entered high school, I knew that one day I would be either a French major or an English major. Ultimately, French won my heart, but the most influential teacher I have ever had was my senior year Approaching the Arts teacher, Barb Masters. She taught her students to think critically by asking us to read difficult modern writers such as Joyce, Ginsburg, and Waldman. She stretched our vision by introducing us to visual artists like Hans Haacke and directors like Bergman. I have tried to imbue my classroom with some of the lessons I learned from Mrs. Masters. Fortunately for her, she never had to deal with the dictates of No Child Left Behind.
Teaching in Hamtramck means the large majority of my students are non-English speakers, representing about 20 different languages. From one or two Russian speakers to many Bengla speakers, Hamtramck offers challenges to educators of any background. Those students who are native speakers offer their own obstacles. Many come from homes mired in generations of poverty and low levels of literacy. Many are students who have shuttled from school to school looking for the promises that charter schools and school of choice programs make. Instead, they lose valuable time and often lose any sense of community that a neighborhood school can offer. These are my students. Most are both poor readers and writers. If that is the case, why should I focus on writing? From my experience, students will offer move active resistance to a writing task than a reading task. Reading tasks can be eased with MP3 files of the reading material or the teacher reading aloud. A writing task is the exclusive responsibility of the writer. If the writer is a student, he/she often feels overwhelmed trying to achieve perfect spelling, grammar, sentence structure, and details. If spelling is a problem or a student has no idea where to place a paragraph break, why bother trying?
Looking for help, I applied to participate in Eastern Michigan's National Writing Project. I had heard wonderful things about the National Writing Project from colleagues who have participated at other institutions. Having been accepted, I am most looking forward to sharing research writing lessons with colleagues from the all over the region. More importantly, I am looking ahead to taking further classes to assist in the teaching of writing and completing the Teaching of Writing certificate. Any information I can use to assist my students is information that I both want and need.
As a high school teacher in the state of Michigan, the most obvious reason for returning to school is to accumulate enough credits to maintain my professional license. Keeping my license up-to-date is not my sole motivation, however. I am fifteen years into my teaching career and I feel that I need some fresh, research-based strategies to improve my teaching style and help my students achieve better academic outcomes. I believe that Eastern Michigan's Teaching of Writing Certificate program will help me help my students become better writers.
From the moment I entered high school, I knew that one day I would be either a French major or an English major. Ultimately, French won my heart, but the most influential teacher I have ever had was my senior year Approaching the Arts teacher, Barb Masters. She taught her students to think critically by asking us to read difficult modern writers such as Joyce, Ginsburg, and Waldman. She stretched our vision by introducing us to visual artists like Hans Haacke and directors like Bergman. I have tried to imbue my classroom with some of the lessons I learned from Mrs. Masters. Fortunately for her, she never had to deal with the dictates of No Child Left Behind.
Teaching in Hamtramck means the large majority of my students are non-English speakers, representing about 20 different languages. From one or two Russian speakers to many Bengla speakers, Hamtramck offers challenges to educators of any background. Those students who are native speakers offer their own obstacles. Many come from homes mired in generations of poverty and low levels of literacy. Many are students who have shuttled from school to school looking for the promises that charter schools and school of choice programs make. Instead, they lose valuable time and often lose any sense of community that a neighborhood school can offer. These are my students. Most are both poor readers and writers. If that is the case, why should I focus on writing? From my experience, students will offer move active resistance to a writing task than a reading task. Reading tasks can be eased with MP3 files of the reading material or the teacher reading aloud. A writing task is the exclusive responsibility of the writer. If the writer is a student, he/she often feels overwhelmed trying to achieve perfect spelling, grammar, sentence structure, and details. If spelling is a problem or a student has no idea where to place a paragraph break, why bother trying?
Looking for help, I applied to participate in Eastern Michigan's National Writing Project. I had heard wonderful things about the National Writing Project from colleagues who have participated at other institutions. Having been accepted, I am most looking forward to sharing research writing lessons with colleagues from the all over the region. More importantly, I am looking ahead to taking further classes to assist in the teaching of writing and completing the Teaching of Writing certificate. Any information I can use to assist my students is information that I both want and need.
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Inspired silliness
I have just started reading J.D Salinger's Catcher in the Rye to my mainstream/special education class. So far so good, they seem to like it. I, on the other hand, am LOVING it. I had forgotten how good it is. One thing I ask the students to do is to write down an interesting or confusing quote every few pages. Thus far, they have picked some terrific quotes.
Thinking about this has, of course, distracted me. I love picking out phrases and lines from songs and movies and keeping them around. I probably have reserved precious brain space for dozens of these snippets. Some are serious while most are goofy. Here are just a few that I am certain that I know by heart:
"I'd beg for some forgiveness, but beggin's not my business."
"If you have five seconds to spare, then I'll tell you the story of my life. Sixteen, clumsy, and shy...."
"This one goes to 11."
"You're a monster."
"I'm quite illiterate, I read a lot."
What are those one line phrases that bring an immediate smile to your face whenever you encounter them?
Thinking about this has, of course, distracted me. I love picking out phrases and lines from songs and movies and keeping them around. I probably have reserved precious brain space for dozens of these snippets. Some are serious while most are goofy. Here are just a few that I am certain that I know by heart:
"I'd beg for some forgiveness, but beggin's not my business."
"If you have five seconds to spare, then I'll tell you the story of my life. Sixteen, clumsy, and shy...."
"This one goes to 11."
"You're a monster."
"I'm quite illiterate, I read a lot."
What are those one line phrases that bring an immediate smile to your face whenever you encounter them?
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Safe Harbor
Previously, I've discussed how important test scores are to my continued career as a teacher. Well, the ACT scores are rolling in and the scenario is bleak.
Just to refresh your memory, in March all eleventh graders took a battery of tests over a three day period. The first test given was the ACT. The laws around this are astounding as students who had been in the country for as little a few weeks took these tests, including the ACT. The ACT is a very difficult test and does not test basic skills. It is a test used to make predictions about how a student will perform in college. If you can't read English in a quick, skimming manner and do that for comprehension, you will do poorly on this test.
In order to stop a state takeover of our school, we need two things to happen. First, we need our test scores to improve by 10 percent. Second, we need to NOT land in the bottom five percent of high schools in the state. There is actually a third, but I can't recall the exact details, so I've skipped it for now. Last year, our average ACT was 15 point something. In order to make a ten percent jump, and make "safe harbor" our scores needed to improve to approximately 17 percent. We are currently at 16.4 percent. I learned this last night after work at the bar. I was only drinking juice, but at that moment I really wanted to add a shot of vodka to my glass.
We need the results from the other two days of testing before our fate is finalized, but my spirit is currently waning.
Just to refresh your memory, in March all eleventh graders took a battery of tests over a three day period. The first test given was the ACT. The laws around this are astounding as students who had been in the country for as little a few weeks took these tests, including the ACT. The ACT is a very difficult test and does not test basic skills. It is a test used to make predictions about how a student will perform in college. If you can't read English in a quick, skimming manner and do that for comprehension, you will do poorly on this test.
In order to stop a state takeover of our school, we need two things to happen. First, we need our test scores to improve by 10 percent. Second, we need to NOT land in the bottom five percent of high schools in the state. There is actually a third, but I can't recall the exact details, so I've skipped it for now. Last year, our average ACT was 15 point something. In order to make a ten percent jump, and make "safe harbor" our scores needed to improve to approximately 17 percent. We are currently at 16.4 percent. I learned this last night after work at the bar. I was only drinking juice, but at that moment I really wanted to add a shot of vodka to my glass.
We need the results from the other two days of testing before our fate is finalized, but my spirit is currently waning.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Schadenfreude
Normally, I do not wish ill on those I do not like, especially if young children will be impacted at some point. I do, however, have to admit to feeling a slight giggle in my soul when I read this yesterday. You see, the principal in question is my former boss. I want to share one story about this guy. I have dozens more, but those involve other people and I don't have their permission to tell their stories.
The story starts in the November before Andrew came home. Our home study had just been approved by Ontario and was in the process of being translated into Chinese. Out of no where, a co-worker and his wife adopt a domestically born baby girl. Their process had been far more covert and it seems that paperwork from the employer was not needed. For Andrew's adoption, I needed to supply a letter of recommendation from my direct supervisor and a letter from HR stating my salary and length of employment. The sudden news shook me up a little and I found myself in anxious tears and even feeling guilty about crying at their happiness. Of course, I wasn't actually crying at their happiness, just at my own situation. I was even terrified to attend the first staff meeting after their bundle arrived because I couldn't handle all the emotions seeing of cooing co-workers and the delivery of baby gifts. Thankfully, the new parent wasn't there and a number of other teachers seemed to sense my anxiety. I remember quite distinctly a veteran English teacher gently grabbing my arm and sincerely asking me how I was doing. Of course I dissolved into tears. I crawled to a corner and sniffled into a tissue for the whole meeting.
Perhaps ten minutes after the meeting was adjourned, I was in my classroom, preparing to leave when a friend of mine came to my room. She told me that the principal (the guy mentioned in the article) asked her "Why was TC crying?" She, as best as she could, explained that the recent adoption news had hit me pretty hard. He replied, "What, why? She jealous?" My head spun, I just couldn't believe it. I work in a small district where I have worked hard to earn the respect of people at all levels of the hierarchy. This sometimes helps me open doors that others can't even find and I was able to make an appointment with the superintendent the very next day. At this meeting, he assured me that I would immediately receive an apology letter.
I don't know how many days passed, but a typed letter did eventually show up in my school mailbox. It said something to the effect of "sorry you were offended." Two more letters, with the same sentiment were tried. Two months later, the superintendent, the principal, my union president, and I sat down in my classroom. After an hour of I can't remember what, my union president exasperatedly asked,"Are you going to to say sorry or what?" Like a child forced to apologize for hitting a sibling, he said something that resembled sorry and he and I spoke less than 15 times in the next four years. That's amazingly low considering that I was and still am the Student Council adviser.
This is just one story. I could regale you with the time he told a student I was bullshit because I taped the pep rally plans to his door. Or about the time he told other people in the district that he had the worst staff in the district. Or the time he actually told his staff that he didn't "do e-mail." Or the way he pounded his chest and slapped hands with some of the biggest, most violent assholes in the building and allowed them to call him "Vic." But I can feel the hate in my soul rising to a dangerous level.
You see, I took a leave last year and I told everyone that it was because Andrew was starting school. It was really because I was going to break and my whole being was consumed with rage toward this moron. I am in a much better place mentally because of my decision.
The story starts in the November before Andrew came home. Our home study had just been approved by Ontario and was in the process of being translated into Chinese. Out of no where, a co-worker and his wife adopt a domestically born baby girl. Their process had been far more covert and it seems that paperwork from the employer was not needed. For Andrew's adoption, I needed to supply a letter of recommendation from my direct supervisor and a letter from HR stating my salary and length of employment. The sudden news shook me up a little and I found myself in anxious tears and even feeling guilty about crying at their happiness. Of course, I wasn't actually crying at their happiness, just at my own situation. I was even terrified to attend the first staff meeting after their bundle arrived because I couldn't handle all the emotions seeing of cooing co-workers and the delivery of baby gifts. Thankfully, the new parent wasn't there and a number of other teachers seemed to sense my anxiety. I remember quite distinctly a veteran English teacher gently grabbing my arm and sincerely asking me how I was doing. Of course I dissolved into tears. I crawled to a corner and sniffled into a tissue for the whole meeting.
Perhaps ten minutes after the meeting was adjourned, I was in my classroom, preparing to leave when a friend of mine came to my room. She told me that the principal (the guy mentioned in the article) asked her "Why was TC crying?" She, as best as she could, explained that the recent adoption news had hit me pretty hard. He replied, "What, why? She jealous?" My head spun, I just couldn't believe it. I work in a small district where I have worked hard to earn the respect of people at all levels of the hierarchy. This sometimes helps me open doors that others can't even find and I was able to make an appointment with the superintendent the very next day. At this meeting, he assured me that I would immediately receive an apology letter.
I don't know how many days passed, but a typed letter did eventually show up in my school mailbox. It said something to the effect of "sorry you were offended." Two more letters, with the same sentiment were tried. Two months later, the superintendent, the principal, my union president, and I sat down in my classroom. After an hour of I can't remember what, my union president exasperatedly asked,"Are you going to to say sorry or what?" Like a child forced to apologize for hitting a sibling, he said something that resembled sorry and he and I spoke less than 15 times in the next four years. That's amazingly low considering that I was and still am the Student Council adviser.
This is just one story. I could regale you with the time he told a student I was bullshit because I taped the pep rally plans to his door. Or about the time he told other people in the district that he had the worst staff in the district. Or the time he actually told his staff that he didn't "do e-mail." Or the way he pounded his chest and slapped hands with some of the biggest, most violent assholes in the building and allowed them to call him "Vic." But I can feel the hate in my soul rising to a dangerous level.
You see, I took a leave last year and I told everyone that it was because Andrew was starting school. It was really because I was going to break and my whole being was consumed with rage toward this moron. I am in a much better place mentally because of my decision.
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
To reunion or not to reunion, that is the question
I was a very shy and anonymous teenager. I did not play any sports, instead I took pictures of athletes for the school paper. I can't even describe how much happier I felt isolated in the darkroom than with my peers. I always felt that everyone was smarter and more attractive than me, with a much brighter future. If you gave me a million dollars to safely travel back in time to high school, I would think about the offer for a loooooong time and ultimately, I might just turn it down.
I had friends. I have sadly lost touch with them and even sadder, my very best friend from high school died in a car accident about four years after we graduated. I know that there are people from high school I'd like to see, they just did not necessarily graduate the same year as me. My graduating class was almost 700 strong (I went to an enormous suburban sprawl school) and my closest friends did not graduate with me. Some graduated from the other school across the campus (there were two schools on our campus at that time and everyone had classes in both buildings) and some graduated other years. All I really remember about graduation is that The Smiths were performing that night and my parents wouldn't let me go because of my/their graduation party.
The date, location, and cost for my 25th reunion have just been announced. The cost is reasonable - $35. I know where it is. The date is an unknown for me yet as a certain British pop band has yet to release their US tour dates. If the date is clear, I suppose I could go. But, just thinking about it makes my stomach churn. While I am most certainly no longer shy and anonymous, I just can't think of a smashing reason to attend. First, I don't really know any of the people who have taken on the task of planning this reunion. We personally have no high school memories to share and to look back upon fondly. They are nice enough people who felt motivated to plan a huge party. Second, I don't see too many familiar faces on the Facebook group for my class. So, I don't know the planners and I don't know the people who currently know about this event. That just sounds like a recipe for a long night, too much wine, and way too many Michael Jackson songs.
Have any of you attended a reunion? How did it go? Give me a good reason to go, if there isn't a Squeeze concert competing against it (oh, the reunion will lose to the concert, hands down).
I had friends. I have sadly lost touch with them and even sadder, my very best friend from high school died in a car accident about four years after we graduated. I know that there are people from high school I'd like to see, they just did not necessarily graduate the same year as me. My graduating class was almost 700 strong (I went to an enormous suburban sprawl school) and my closest friends did not graduate with me. Some graduated from the other school across the campus (there were two schools on our campus at that time and everyone had classes in both buildings) and some graduated other years. All I really remember about graduation is that The Smiths were performing that night and my parents wouldn't let me go because of my/their graduation party.
The date, location, and cost for my 25th reunion have just been announced. The cost is reasonable - $35. I know where it is. The date is an unknown for me yet as a certain British pop band has yet to release their US tour dates. If the date is clear, I suppose I could go. But, just thinking about it makes my stomach churn. While I am most certainly no longer shy and anonymous, I just can't think of a smashing reason to attend. First, I don't really know any of the people who have taken on the task of planning this reunion. We personally have no high school memories to share and to look back upon fondly. They are nice enough people who felt motivated to plan a huge party. Second, I don't see too many familiar faces on the Facebook group for my class. So, I don't know the planners and I don't know the people who currently know about this event. That just sounds like a recipe for a long night, too much wine, and way too many Michael Jackson songs.
Have any of you attended a reunion? How did it go? Give me a good reason to go, if there isn't a Squeeze concert competing against it (oh, the reunion will lose to the concert, hands down).
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