Trying to breathe

I always have butterflies before the first day of school.  I mark that as a good sign, that I still care after 16 years in the profession. Part of me sees significant similarities between being a teacher and a performer.  We both have audiences, with whom we interact, and we both present a body of information: be it American Literature, songs, or a script. Like a performer, I take great care in my presentation.  I know, however, that my presentation is supposed to stick with the audience, and help them attain skills that they will be able to use later.  For a school like mine, the ability to use those skills on tests in the spring has become a life and death matter.

I've talked about testing before, so I won't bore you with a rehash of how it works (though if you don't know, please comment and ask me).  If you read this blog on a fairly regular basis, you'll have a basic understanding of my school's demographics: high poverty, high percentage of non-English speakers or English as a second language.  Numbers like that don't bode well for standardized tests.  My students read too slowly to do well on a timed test.  They lack the cultural background to handle the reading passages on the ACT (part of our state's testing mandate). 

Anyway, if schools perform poorly on those tests for a long enough time, they will fall to the bottom of the state rankings and then all hell breaks loose.  If a school is in the bottom five percent, it becomes a "Priority School."  Yay us!!! We're a "Priority School." This does not mean that the state will pour extra resources into much needed areas. Nope, it means that we enter the year with the sword of Damocles dangling overhead. 

A weasel...I mean monitor from the state will be on-site.   I will have to not use the word weasel when addressing this person. We, as a staff will have to decide on one of four options, if we do not meet, as yet unstated, goals: a. closure, b. restart as a charter, c. turnaround (fire principal and 50 percent of staff), or d. transformation.

That is all I know.  We have no more details than that. 

I must try to stay positive, but I also cannot be oblivious.  The state will likely set unattainable (without cheating) goals.  I must not only teach my ass off, but I must really forge ahead on finding something else for me to do.  I must try to stay calm and not stress eat.  I must keep my son as my number one priority and not let him know the churning that is eating away at my insides. I'd really like to find a date or two. Who knows if there will be time for any fun?

Anyone want to hire one slightly used teacher?