A Random Act of Kindness

I have been very open about my struggle with depression.  I have come out of the darkest days, but I occasionally find a wound that is still relatively fresh.

I spent 17 years at Hamtramck High School.  I grew up there.  Sometimes I was brilliant, other times, I was an utter disaster.  At no time, however, could any one say that I did not give my all to the kids, and often times the staff, at Hamtramck. 

I resigned at the end of summer, before the first days of school, so I saw no one and texted a few people good-bye.  Since then, I really haven't heard from any of my former co-workers, even the ones I have contacted.  It's a little like I disappeared at the hands of Winston at the Ministry of Truth.  I've tried not to take the silence personally, but it hasn't been easy.  When I first took my leave, I heard from very few people and that just reinforced the notion that I could disappear and no one would care.  Luckily, my new job keeps me too busy to ruminate on these thoughts.  The medicine also helps quite a bit.

Today, I went to my mailbox and found an assortment of junk, a copy of Rolling Stone, and a card from a former co-worker.  This is a person who was always exceedingly kind and was forever complimenting Student Council, which was great because all of my administrators had their heads too far up their own asses to bother with public accolades.  Anyway, the card left me in tears.  I won't quote the whole card, but here is where the tears flowed freely:

"You can feel tremendous with your accomplishment, Toni!  We can see it in all the kids who have passed through Hamtramck and were fortunate enough to have you as an English teacher or Student Council Rep.  You always worked your "tail off" for our kids....I have been honored to work along side you."

He didn't have to write this card.  No other adult thanked me or acknowledged my work.  This was a beautiful thing.  I don't imagine it took him long to do.  A Facebook friend is always encouraging people to commit one act of Random Kindness.  This act touched me deeply, and I will try and reconcile these warm feelings with the cold sense of loss I feel when I think about others.