What Squeeze means to me

I think that many of my non-Squeeze friends find my activities a bit...odd. I mean, I am a mom in her mid 40s who travels around to see an underrated 80s band perform old songs. They haven't put out new material and I travel by myself. I've been thinking about this for a long time now and I've come up with something. For me, Squeeze=love and community.

A long time ago, I was a very shy girl, who did not believe in herself. My parents were a touch over-protective and for the most part, my social life was very limited. I carried that girl inside of me for a long time, well into adulthood. I molded myself to whatever situation I encountered, just so I would fit in. Except for music. I kept my musical taste true to my actual self. As insecure as I was, I didn't share my music with others. I don't know why.

Since ninth grade, Squeeze has been my favorite band. I loved Chris Difford's storytelling and clever lyrics. Of course, there was Glenn Tilbrook and his voice and...well, everyone knows about my crush. They weren't hardcore enough for my more punk friends and were under the radar for other friends - underdogs. Perfect for me.

I followed them through records and attending shows when I could. I lost track of them when I became a teacher. Hell, I lost track of everything when I became a teacher. But, I found them again when they toured in 2008 and even more so when I saw Glenn perform in Cleveland in 2009. As a matter of fact, that show was a real turning point in my life. I mean, he and his band the Fluffers were so nice and I met other fanatics. I can't fully explain what it was about that night, I just knew I needed to travel and see shows.

That's what I've been doing. All along the way, I meet more people who love what I do. I have visited places that I probably wouldn't have visited. Honestly, if I hadn't gone to San Diego during this past Easter break, you know what I would have been doing? Grading papers and sitting around. Why do that? Instead, I got a tan, made new friends and talked with my favorite musicians. I learned that my lifelong crush really knows who I am as unprompted he asked my how my school year was going. I met the woman who edited my novel at a gig on Long Island. I'm going to London during the Olympics because of Squeeze.

I wouldn't have my life any other way.

At a crossroads

I am 44 years old. I have a mildly autistic son. I live in a foreign country, that has universal healthcare, where I know nobody. I cross the border every day (to the tune of $8.00/day) to a job that is under assault and I will not likely have in five years. And, at this moment, I should be dividing my time between grading papers and washing dishes.

I feel like I have written this post before. I'm sorry for repeating myself. I just need to figure out my next move. It is likely that within 2-5 years, my school will be labeled a persistently low achieving school. Once that occurs, there will likely be a wholesale firing of many staff members, most likely the most expensive ones. That would be me.I don't wish to wait around for the bloodshed, so I need to take some concrete action. I haven't had time to take care of myself lately, mostly because I usually whipped at the end of the day, but inaction is no longer acceptable.

I could remain in teaching and just beg Ontario to let me have a teaching certificate. I will of course do that. I just wonder if I will have soured on the profession after the debacle in America.

I could move to America and find a job in a safer district, with a bigger commute. While I truly miss my home country, living without Andrew is out of the question. My hand may be forced.

Beyond that, I am clueless. I don't know what I am qualified to do. I don't have enough degrees to teach college. I'm a little past the prime trophy wife age, though this option has been urged by a few people. I'd love to find a publisher and I know I need to move my rear on that dream. I'd also love to find an investor to back me in starting a bed and breakfast.

Sigh. I'm tired of dodging bullshit everyday. It's funny to me how "it takes a village to raise a child," but apparently, it's only the teacher's fault when one fails.

End rant. Now to the dishes.

Now Accepting Bids for Mid-Life Crisis Sponsors

Much of what I have written in the past year seems to deal with a overall feeling of malaise that encompasses my world. It's clear that I must be suffering from some type of identity crisis. I know that I can pinpoint some of my feelings to a direct source; some of which I can discuss and some of which will need to remain locked in a vault. Much of what I am experiencing, however, feels hazy. Therefore, I can only guess that, at 42, the much maligned mid-life crisis has descended upon me. I suppose I could go find someone who would prescribe a plethora of anti-depressants for me. That idea seems highly distressing. If I'm going to have a mid-life crisis that requires me to find myself, I might as well have as much fun as I can. Sadly, I am but a poor school teacher. To be honest, I make a pretty good salary. Unfortunately, much of which could help me relieve the symptoms of this mid-life crisis, not unlike medicine, is expensive. Traveling, more educational opportunities, attending cultural events, and exploring new hobbies are all part of my plan to help me come to terms with the life I have led to this point,make spiritual sense of my world and my being, a to create and road map for the remainder of time I have left.

This is where you, an interested corporate sponsor can help. You might wonder why should my company sponsor you? I have a number of fine qualities that should appeal to a demographic that is currently at or about to enter its peak earning cycle. To begin, I am highly educated. I earned a B.A. in French, with a strong minor in English at Alma College, a small liberal arts college with an excellent reputation. After completing my degree, I worked a variety of jobs, none of which were satisfying. These jobs, however, did give me a strong appreciation for what the working class in our society experiences and I developed a deep empathy for service workers in general. I tip extremely generously (this particular characteristic might be of special interest to those in the food industry. You could greatly improve the morale of your dining room staff if you choose to underwrite a portion of my mid-life crisis). After earning my teaching certificate and working in socio-economically deprived districts for a few years, I returned to school to earn an M.A. in Humanities. From this program, I grew to love art history, historic architecture, and even opera. Thanks to my love of reading, I am fully capable of holding an intelligent conversation about any of these topics and I am very happy to learn more.

Another quality that should interest the potential corporate sponsor is my connection to the youth market. As a teacher, I interact with 150 teenagers a day. I have an excellent reputation as fair minded and academically challenging. I also have an excellent rapport with many of my students. From a marketing point of view, I could have an advantage over traditional advertising in swaying students to consider certain products over others. Many students view traditional advertising with a cynical eye. Product information from a trusted teacher is far less invasive and can be targeted directly to students most likely to be interested in the product. Under no circumstances can any portion of a lesson plan be sponsored.

Yet another attractive quality that I can offer any corporate sponsor is a high level of flexibility. Let's say, for instance that you are an 80s pop band named Squeeze. The range of services I could offer are wide. For a week on tour with the band, I would gladly sell merchandise. I am petite, and attractive - assets that can only help in the realm of sales. This is an offer that should be taken immediately before those assets drop. I am able to take on such a task because my husband is fully capable of handling our son for long stretches of time on his own. I don't worry that the house will burn down and laundry will eventually get done.

A final reason your company should sponsor my mid-life crisis is that I am technologically savvy enough to broadcast my mid-life adventures in a broad range of mediums. I am a writer who is capable of producing essays highlighting my exploits. I would most certainly compose a memoir recounting my mid-life crisis. I have this blog, which I advertise on my Facebook page. I have an account on youtube and would be more than willing to post videos of my experiences using your product. Finally, I am articulate enough to handle any radio or television interviews.

I would like to end by thanking you for your interest in my mid-life crisis. I hope that we have an opportunity to discuss how your entity and my mid-life crisis can help each other reach their maximum potentials.

UPDATE: Here is the link to the eBay listing for Sponsor this Mid-Life Crisis.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250516463129