Lately, the papers and other media are replete with stories reviewing 2009. Seeing as I desperately desire to break into the writing business, I thought that I should add my two cents on the subject. The biggest event for me in 2009 was my sabbatical.
Andrew started school in the fall of 2008 and took the whole 2008-2009 school year off. By the time January rolled around, I had realized that I was not meant to be a stay-at-home mom. I was deeply depressed and bored. Due to the loss of my salary, we had no money and I was constantly worried about the debt we had incurred over the previous three years. I did not express these concerns aloud and instead internalized it all.
Despite those negatives, I would have to say that taking a year off from my job was the best career decision I have ever made. I am not sure that I would be able to continue as a teacher if I had worked last year. I work in a high stress, high needs, low resource school district and I felt ready to snap by the time June 2008 rolled around. The place still makes me crazy, but, I feel that I have gained a better perspective on the insanity. It doesn't quite roll of my back like water from a duck, but at least the acid reflex has not returned.
As a mom, the year proved to me that I am a good mother. Previously, I had my doubts. Andrew was happy and healthy. He and I bonded in a manner that had not existed before I took this sojourn. There were, naturally, obstacles that emerged. I now feel far more confident to tackle the hard times than I had before.
Would I ever take another year off? Our contract allows one more leave. Depending on my circumstances, I might consider it. I would have a plan to beat back the depression and Andrew will of course be older. But, I sense that there are many changes on my horizon that will make this decision for me.
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Saturday, December 5, 2009
For C.D.W.
I was quite recently chided by a self-proclaimed "faithful reader" that I needed to provide some content here on the old blog. It's another Saturday night spent at home contemplating school work and drinking Bailey's, so I'm game.
Perhaps an up-date on the novel would be apropos this evening. I am into chapter six and I find that I need to do a fair bit of research to complete the chapter. I need to research cabins and wooded areas in the northern Lower Peninsula. I saw the season's first snow flakes, so I guess I will wait until spring for that bit of research.
I have been in contact with an editor who is willing to look over what I have written thus far and make suggestions. The editor also runs a self-publishing company, which is how I think I will publish the book once it is done. Two published writers have looked over some early chapters and have given me useful feedback. One thing that everyone seems to like is my use of dialogue and how it seems to jump off the page.
I will probably try to plunk out a few words tonight. Vacation will be a wonderful thing because I plan on writing everyday.
I will leave my readers with a serious question, not driven by any alcohol consumption. If two characters in the book are sexually involved, how explicit should the description be? Currently, I have included two scenes in the book that explicitly imply that sex is imminent, but I leave out the salacious details. Your thoughts would be most welcome.
Perhaps an up-date on the novel would be apropos this evening. I am into chapter six and I find that I need to do a fair bit of research to complete the chapter. I need to research cabins and wooded areas in the northern Lower Peninsula. I saw the season's first snow flakes, so I guess I will wait until spring for that bit of research.
I have been in contact with an editor who is willing to look over what I have written thus far and make suggestions. The editor also runs a self-publishing company, which is how I think I will publish the book once it is done. Two published writers have looked over some early chapters and have given me useful feedback. One thing that everyone seems to like is my use of dialogue and how it seems to jump off the page.
I will probably try to plunk out a few words tonight. Vacation will be a wonderful thing because I plan on writing everyday.
I will leave my readers with a serious question, not driven by any alcohol consumption. If two characters in the book are sexually involved, how explicit should the description be? Currently, I have included two scenes in the book that explicitly imply that sex is imminent, but I leave out the salacious details. Your thoughts would be most welcome.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
An interesting dinner party
I'm supposed to be grading papers right now. Scratch that, I always have papers to grade, but I needed to take a break from this completely mundane task. I haven't been here in a while because I was tired of my own continual whining that I found coming out of my fingertips. I decided to wait until I had something more interesting to say until I wrote again. I don't really have anything interesting, but for many, this is a weekend of big meals and company. I thought that it might be interesting to create a list of interesting guests we would like to have at a dinner party. The people need not be famous, just interesting.
My first choice would be my high school English teacher, Mrs. Masters. First and foremost, I would want to talk with her about all the changes in education that have occurred. I'm sure that she would have viewed this new emphasis on testing as anathema to true education.
Allen Ginsberg would be second on my list. He would have great stories and I always found him to be very engaging. And yes, the meal would be vegetarian.
Next on the list would be Harry Shearer. He was in This is Spinal Tap and he has done dozen of voices on The Simpsons. Between him and Ginsburg, I'm not sure that the laughter would stop.
Terry Gross would have to be at my dinner. I am often terrible at small talk and she does it for a living. She makes everyone sound so smart.
I should pick a novelist here, perhaps Atwood or Twain, but I'm afraid that my dinner needs some erudite eye candy - for me. I have two choices in my head and I'm going to go with...George Clooney. He's liberal and articulate and well-dressed and manly. Ginsberg would probably give George googly eyes, whereas he might leave GT alone, but George wins on this one because I have not yet met him.
I noticed that my list is hopelessly US-centric and I wasn't really expecting that. Maybe you could recommend me to some more worldly voices.
My first choice would be my high school English teacher, Mrs. Masters. First and foremost, I would want to talk with her about all the changes in education that have occurred. I'm sure that she would have viewed this new emphasis on testing as anathema to true education.
Allen Ginsberg would be second on my list. He would have great stories and I always found him to be very engaging. And yes, the meal would be vegetarian.
Next on the list would be Harry Shearer. He was in This is Spinal Tap and he has done dozen of voices on The Simpsons. Between him and Ginsburg, I'm not sure that the laughter would stop.
Terry Gross would have to be at my dinner. I am often terrible at small talk and she does it for a living. She makes everyone sound so smart.
I should pick a novelist here, perhaps Atwood or Twain, but I'm afraid that my dinner needs some erudite eye candy - for me. I have two choices in my head and I'm going to go with...George Clooney. He's liberal and articulate and well-dressed and manly. Ginsberg would probably give George googly eyes, whereas he might leave GT alone, but George wins on this one because I have not yet met him.
I noticed that my list is hopelessly US-centric and I wasn't really expecting that. Maybe you could recommend me to some more worldly voices.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Now Accepting Bids for Mid-Life Crisis Sponsors
Much of what I have written in the past year seems to deal with a overall feeling of malaise that encompasses my world. It's clear that I must be suffering from some type of identity crisis. I know that I can pinpoint some of my feelings to a direct source; some of which I can discuss and some of which will need to remain locked in a vault. Much of what I am experiencing, however, feels hazy. Therefore, I can only guess that, at 42, the much maligned mid-life crisis has descended upon me. I suppose I could go find someone who would prescribe a plethora of anti-depressants for me. That idea seems highly distressing. If I'm going to have a mid-life crisis that requires me to find myself, I might as well have as much fun as I can. Sadly, I am but a poor school teacher. To be honest, I make a pretty good salary. Unfortunately, much of which could help me relieve the symptoms of this mid-life crisis, not unlike medicine, is expensive. Traveling, more educational opportunities, attending cultural events, and exploring new hobbies are all part of my plan to help me come to terms with the life I have led to this point,make spiritual sense of my world and my being, a to create and road map for the remainder of time I have left.
This is where you, an interested corporate sponsor can help. You might wonder why should my company sponsor you? I have a number of fine qualities that should appeal to a demographic that is currently at or about to enter its peak earning cycle. To begin, I am highly educated. I earned a B.A. in French, with a strong minor in English at Alma College, a small liberal arts college with an excellent reputation. After completing my degree, I worked a variety of jobs, none of which were satisfying. These jobs, however, did give me a strong appreciation for what the working class in our society experiences and I developed a deep empathy for service workers in general. I tip extremely generously (this particular characteristic might be of special interest to those in the food industry. You could greatly improve the morale of your dining room staff if you choose to underwrite a portion of my mid-life crisis). After earning my teaching certificate and working in socio-economically deprived districts for a few years, I returned to school to earn an M.A. in Humanities. From this program, I grew to love art history, historic architecture, and even opera. Thanks to my love of reading, I am fully capable of holding an intelligent conversation about any of these topics and I am very happy to learn more.
Another quality that should interest the potential corporate sponsor is my connection to the youth market. As a teacher, I interact with 150 teenagers a day. I have an excellent reputation as fair minded and academically challenging. I also have an excellent rapport with many of my students. From a marketing point of view, I could have an advantage over traditional advertising in swaying students to consider certain products over others. Many students view traditional advertising with a cynical eye. Product information from a trusted teacher is far less invasive and can be targeted directly to students most likely to be interested in the product. Under no circumstances can any portion of a lesson plan be sponsored.
Yet another attractive quality that I can offer any corporate sponsor is a high level of flexibility. Let's say, for instance that you are an 80s pop band named Squeeze. The range of services I could offer are wide. For a week on tour with the band, I would gladly sell merchandise. I am petite, and attractive - assets that can only help in the realm of sales. This is an offer that should be taken immediately before those assets drop. I am able to take on such a task because my husband is fully capable of handling our son for long stretches of time on his own. I don't worry that the house will burn down and laundry will eventually get done.
A final reason your company should sponsor my mid-life crisis is that I am technologically savvy enough to broadcast my mid-life adventures in a broad range of mediums. I am a writer who is capable of producing essays highlighting my exploits. I would most certainly compose a memoir recounting my mid-life crisis. I have this blog, which I advertise on my Facebook page. I have an account on youtube and would be more than willing to post videos of my experiences using your product. Finally, I am articulate enough to handle any radio or television interviews.
I would like to end by thanking you for your interest in my mid-life crisis. I hope that we have an opportunity to discuss how your entity and my mid-life crisis can help each other reach their maximum potentials.
UPDATE: Here is the link to the eBay listing for Sponsor this Mid-Life Crisis.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250516463129
This is where you, an interested corporate sponsor can help. You might wonder why should my company sponsor you? I have a number of fine qualities that should appeal to a demographic that is currently at or about to enter its peak earning cycle. To begin, I am highly educated. I earned a B.A. in French, with a strong minor in English at Alma College, a small liberal arts college with an excellent reputation. After completing my degree, I worked a variety of jobs, none of which were satisfying. These jobs, however, did give me a strong appreciation for what the working class in our society experiences and I developed a deep empathy for service workers in general. I tip extremely generously (this particular characteristic might be of special interest to those in the food industry. You could greatly improve the morale of your dining room staff if you choose to underwrite a portion of my mid-life crisis). After earning my teaching certificate and working in socio-economically deprived districts for a few years, I returned to school to earn an M.A. in Humanities. From this program, I grew to love art history, historic architecture, and even opera. Thanks to my love of reading, I am fully capable of holding an intelligent conversation about any of these topics and I am very happy to learn more.
Another quality that should interest the potential corporate sponsor is my connection to the youth market. As a teacher, I interact with 150 teenagers a day. I have an excellent reputation as fair minded and academically challenging. I also have an excellent rapport with many of my students. From a marketing point of view, I could have an advantage over traditional advertising in swaying students to consider certain products over others. Many students view traditional advertising with a cynical eye. Product information from a trusted teacher is far less invasive and can be targeted directly to students most likely to be interested in the product. Under no circumstances can any portion of a lesson plan be sponsored.
Yet another attractive quality that I can offer any corporate sponsor is a high level of flexibility. Let's say, for instance that you are an 80s pop band named Squeeze. The range of services I could offer are wide. For a week on tour with the band, I would gladly sell merchandise. I am petite, and attractive - assets that can only help in the realm of sales. This is an offer that should be taken immediately before those assets drop. I am able to take on such a task because my husband is fully capable of handling our son for long stretches of time on his own. I don't worry that the house will burn down and laundry will eventually get done.
A final reason your company should sponsor my mid-life crisis is that I am technologically savvy enough to broadcast my mid-life adventures in a broad range of mediums. I am a writer who is capable of producing essays highlighting my exploits. I would most certainly compose a memoir recounting my mid-life crisis. I have this blog, which I advertise on my Facebook page. I have an account on youtube and would be more than willing to post videos of my experiences using your product. Finally, I am articulate enough to handle any radio or television interviews.
I would like to end by thanking you for your interest in my mid-life crisis. I hope that we have an opportunity to discuss how your entity and my mid-life crisis can help each other reach their maximum potentials.
UPDATE: Here is the link to the eBay listing for Sponsor this Mid-Life Crisis.
http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&item=250516463129
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
Getting Emo
The return to school has been more difficult than I anticipated. All the stress of grading papers, never being alone, and large classes have hit me with a double shot to the kidney. I feel myself being sucked into a black cloud of depression. I did not enjoy the isolation of being a stay-at-home mom and I had eagerly looked forward to returning to work. I am of a completely different mind at the moment.
Our school is under the gun because we have not made Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) in five years. I'll explain all of that later, maybe this weekend. Anyway, if our test scores (and a variety of other factors) don't achieve AYP this year, the whole staff could be fired. No stress there. We have turned into test prep central and that is not why I became a teacher.
It has not helped that some of Andrew's behavior's have grown wearisome and worse. His inability to stop himself from pinching my thighs has me down. He looks at me and the only thing he almost ever says is "Momma's pinchy squishy skin." I must hear this two, three dozen times a day. Naturally, the stress I'm feeling from work must trickle down to Andrew. He must sense how I'm just not feeling right.
Then there's my book. I haven't even given it a passing glance in three weeks. What a waste of some fine material. I'm not saying it's Pulitzer material, but it is a huge dream that I have to finish it. Of course, if I lose my job, I'll have all of the time in the world to write. I just won't be able to make it to Wimbledon for my 45th birthday. Plus, who knows what I'll eat when I am an old woman without a pension.
My head is swimming with confused thoughts. I need to get my act together or I'll burn out and be of no use to myself or anyone else.
Our school is under the gun because we have not made Adequate Yearly Progress (AYP) in five years. I'll explain all of that later, maybe this weekend. Anyway, if our test scores (and a variety of other factors) don't achieve AYP this year, the whole staff could be fired. No stress there. We have turned into test prep central and that is not why I became a teacher.
It has not helped that some of Andrew's behavior's have grown wearisome and worse. His inability to stop himself from pinching my thighs has me down. He looks at me and the only thing he almost ever says is "Momma's pinchy squishy skin." I must hear this two, three dozen times a day. Naturally, the stress I'm feeling from work must trickle down to Andrew. He must sense how I'm just not feeling right.
Then there's my book. I haven't even given it a passing glance in three weeks. What a waste of some fine material. I'm not saying it's Pulitzer material, but it is a huge dream that I have to finish it. Of course, if I lose my job, I'll have all of the time in the world to write. I just won't be able to make it to Wimbledon for my 45th birthday. Plus, who knows what I'll eat when I am an old woman without a pension.
My head is swimming with confused thoughts. I need to get my act together or I'll burn out and be of no use to myself or anyone else.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
The Vortex
I have been trapped for about a week now and the only reason I seem to be free at the moment is because I am actively blowing off papers that need to be graded. I haven't posted here in 10 days and I haven't touched my book in two weeks. I need some me time.
The beginning of this school year feels like the craziest one I have ever experienced in my whole career and frankly that's saying something. I had mentioned previously that I anticipated chaos on the first day of school and that was what we got. There was a reporting room for the students that wasn't remotely related to homeroom. There was no communication about when to hand out emergency cards and other forms. The id cards were not available, nor was the code of conduct. Hell, we still don't have those. It took two days to distribute lockers to students.
Without id cards, students are unable to obtain textbooks, so who knows what the math teachers are doing. I don't cleave to the textbook, but I do use it as a handy reference tool, so I don't have to make copies, which of course I am now doing. We have science classes with more than 40 students. We have kids showing up for the first time during week two. Who knows what they've been doing for the past week. I have had a new student or two every hour foe the past week. Those kids have missed two or three assignments in my class already.
I just had to vent. Thanks for listening
The beginning of this school year feels like the craziest one I have ever experienced in my whole career and frankly that's saying something. I had mentioned previously that I anticipated chaos on the first day of school and that was what we got. There was a reporting room for the students that wasn't remotely related to homeroom. There was no communication about when to hand out emergency cards and other forms. The id cards were not available, nor was the code of conduct. Hell, we still don't have those. It took two days to distribute lockers to students.
Without id cards, students are unable to obtain textbooks, so who knows what the math teachers are doing. I don't cleave to the textbook, but I do use it as a handy reference tool, so I don't have to make copies, which of course I am now doing. We have science classes with more than 40 students. We have kids showing up for the first time during week two. Who knows what they've been doing for the past week. I have had a new student or two every hour foe the past week. Those kids have missed two or three assignments in my class already.
I just had to vent. Thanks for listening
Saturday, September 5, 2009
It's almost here
Shhh, don't tell anyone, but I'm really excited for Tuesday to roll around. I know that I said earlier that I'm nervous and I am, but I think it's a good nervous. I just can't wait to stand in front of my students and start the year.
First of all, the start of the school year has given me a reason to go clothes shopping. I know it is a completely superficial reason, but after dropping 25 pounds in the last year, I need a whole new wardrobe. Yesterday, I did a power shop through the mall and bought a suit, a skirt, a jacket, and a new fall outfit from Jones of New York. I found a pair of shoes. Last week, I finally replaced my old, fat jeans that I could pull on and off without unsnapping or unzipping.
Secondly, many of my AP students are in Student Council or on Facebook. They have been talking enthusiastically, to each other, about the summer reading they had to do. They had to read Frankenstein and Oedipus Rex. They all went out and immediately got the books and promptly read them. Many of they e-mailed me or wrote on my Facebook wall (unprompted) that they really liked the stories. A few of them have helped me in my class and have seen the books we'll be studying and I could see the excitement on their faces. Even one of them furtively put the books to her nose and inhaled deeply. That class will be my last class of the day and what a way to end the day.
I just can't believe how much I've missed adult company on the last year. I knew that I went through a pretty extensive bout of the blues while on leave, but now I know one reason why. During our two days of meetings this past week, I just couldn't shut up. Of course, many people were interested in how Andrew is doing and some remarked on my weight loss, but other than that, I just chatted with anyone who would listen.
The communication for our opening day procedures has been abysmal and I am anticipating nothing short of chaos. I can't wait.
First of all, the start of the school year has given me a reason to go clothes shopping. I know it is a completely superficial reason, but after dropping 25 pounds in the last year, I need a whole new wardrobe. Yesterday, I did a power shop through the mall and bought a suit, a skirt, a jacket, and a new fall outfit from Jones of New York. I found a pair of shoes. Last week, I finally replaced my old, fat jeans that I could pull on and off without unsnapping or unzipping.
Secondly, many of my AP students are in Student Council or on Facebook. They have been talking enthusiastically, to each other, about the summer reading they had to do. They had to read Frankenstein and Oedipus Rex. They all went out and immediately got the books and promptly read them. Many of they e-mailed me or wrote on my Facebook wall (unprompted) that they really liked the stories. A few of them have helped me in my class and have seen the books we'll be studying and I could see the excitement on their faces. Even one of them furtively put the books to her nose and inhaled deeply. That class will be my last class of the day and what a way to end the day.
I just can't believe how much I've missed adult company on the last year. I knew that I went through a pretty extensive bout of the blues while on leave, but now I know one reason why. During our two days of meetings this past week, I just couldn't shut up. Of course, many people were interested in how Andrew is doing and some remarked on my weight loss, but other than that, I just chatted with anyone who would listen.
The communication for our opening day procedures has been abysmal and I am anticipating nothing short of chaos. I can't wait.
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