2015's Soundtrack - Work

Another year is about to end.  Another year of challenges that I would have rather not faced.  Another year of lessons learned.  I could bemoan the troubles or have a little fun with them.  It's healthier to choose fun, which is why I am going to supply a soundtrack for 2015.

I had a job (until June) that helped me help workers stand up for their rights.   For that portion of the year, I have chosen a little Pete Seegar. 

Then, for no reason, I lost my job.  I wasn't perfect at my new job, but I was happy with the type of work. I would have gotten better with more time at the job.  I had no discipline issues, no write-ups.  Nothing that would merit letting me go.  For that, here's a little CeeLo Green.

Finally, I am still out of work.  I have had some sort of job, continuously since I started baby-sitting at the age of 12.  I've delivered papers, cleaned houses, sold electronics, but I have never been out of work.  I'm at crossroads I never anticipated. I started off angry.  Now I'm sad and worried about my financial future and how long-term unemployment will impact my struggle with depression. I've already been through the "I'm a burden and everyone would be better if I disappeared" stage.  I will have to fight to not feel that way again. For this part of 2015, I'd like to share The Smiths.

Tomorrow, my soundtrack selections will be for the category of Friends.

2014 in Song Titles

It would be easy to dismiss 2014 as the worst year of my life, but I won't.  As the year winds down, I can honestly say that I am glad the events of 2014 happened "now" rather than later.  I'm not sure that I would have been strong enough to survive if I endured any more years of serious illness.   Here are the five biggest lessons I learned this year - inspired by song titles.

Labelled With Love

A line from my favorite Squeeze lines states "The past has been bottled and labelled with love."  I could be angry with crappy events from the past.  I could be furious at the destruction of public education.  I could be pissed off at people who disappeared when I got sick or bailed when I left HPS. As a matter of fact, I was mad for quite some time, up to just a few weeks ago.  I don't want to be mad, anymore than I want to be depressed, so I let it go.  I thought back to wise words my very first therapist told me, "you can only control your actions, not what other people do." I'm determined to stick those events, those people, and those old reactions of mine  in bottles and indeed label them with love.  Without all of those bottles, I would have had no idea how to save myself.

Career Opportunities

Changing careers was scary, but it is the best thing to happen to me.  I miss the kids.  I miss being in front of a classroom.  I miss Student Council (like crazy)!  It was time for me to change.

Left of Center

I am not ashamed of my political orientation.  I had, for many years, ignored the political junkie that resided inside of me.  I unleashed her by agreeing to work on the ALF-CIO election campaign this fall.  It was a thrill and I learned quite a bit about strategy and the inner workings of a campaign.  Our side lost, but this girl is going to stay politically active.

On the Road Again

I took only trip this year, but it was a big one - a bucket list trip.  The trip to the Grand Canyon was as significant to my development as a fully confident adult as my first trip to London.  Looking at the grandeur of the canyon overwhelmed me.  As I just told a friend yesterday, looking at the Grand Canyon, I realized just how short life was to spend it being miserable.  There is too much beauty to have my eyes clouded over by depression.

There is a Light That Never Goes Out

There were many times during 2014 when I considered extinguishing my own light. Something stopped my from doing that, presumably my son. Now, I feel the sunshine and the light all on my own.

Thanks for hanging out with me this year.  I worked on getting my mind in some semblance of order.  More work to be done in 2015, with some additional body work.  Why does everything I have read about depression highlight sudden weight loss as a possible symptom?  I bloody well packed on the pounds. Oh well.

More from my setlist

Rock n' roll! It's time to turn this blog back up to 11 and add to the set list that my imaginary band would play, if I had any musical ability at all.

For a quick review, here are the first five songs my band would play:  Heartbreaker, Dreaming, Alive, This Must be the Place, and It's Too Late.

For the next five songs, my band (with me as the sexy, lead singing, guitar goddess momma) shall play:

"William, It Was Really Nothing (by The Smiths): I know, I know, Mozz is annoying, even to this vegetarian. But the guitar work (Mr. Johnny Marr) is brilliant and I quite like the lyrics.  They aren't too ponderous or over the top.  It might be the most perfect song ever by The Smiths.

"Is That Love" (by Squeeze) -Of course, I would have to do a song from my favorite band. Great lines like "My assets froze and yours have dropped" and "Legs up with a book and a drink/Now is that love makin' you think" are just too amazing to not want to sing.  Plus, there is a smashing guitar solo for me to play.

"I'm Not Down" (by The Clash) - It might seem like a weird segue way, but that's okay.  As an emotionally overwrought teenager, this was my favorite song off of London Calling, if not my favorite song period. I figure that should count for something and I get to sing this one.


"32 Flavors" (by Ani DiFranco) - I really prefer Alana Davis' cover, but no matter.  I love this song and would do it an acoustic cover of it.

"Wonderwall" (by Oasis) - I cannot get enough of this song, period.  I might even keep the acoustic guitar out to play this song that way.  This truly is a piece of genius.  Considering what a mess they are, I can't, for the life of me, fathom how the Gallagher brothers wrote a song this good.  It doesn't matter, it's on my set list.