Curves and all

I believe that winter's grip on Michigan has finally been broken and spring is finally here to heat things up a bit. I've been able to get out and walk and it's nice to see the world after spending too many days inside, snarling at the snow.

Like so many others, I am looking to shed a few pounds before I pull out my more revealing clothes. As I take my walks, I see all types of body types wearing skimpy clothes and I wonder, "Why don't I feel more comfortable in teeny clothes?" I have seen some big girls in daisy dukes or skirts up to here. I kind of envy that comfort they seem to possess.  I even worry about wearing sleeveless tops because I can't stand how my arm flab shakes. However, this is part of what happens when we age.

It's not that I don't work out, I do.  I get to the gym once or twice a week and I try to exercise at home.  I have seen first hand the end results of a life too sedentary. I don't want that.  I also, like a well-programmed sheep, want to be a little thinner, so I appeal more to the opposite sex.  I'm not sure that I will ever be thin enough to feel secure in a bathing suit. Just the thought fills me with dread.

On the other hand, I saw a woman at the gym today who was in terrific shape.  I usually see her on Saturday and Sunday mornings. This woman has not one ounce of fat on her and her muscles are clearly defined.  The picture of health.  She had no boobs, but could probably kick my ass with one hand tied behind her back. She is clearly disciplined and has the utmost in will-power.  I fail miserably in both categories.  I also don't want to look as angular as she did.  I like my curves, or at least most of them. So, if I like them, and can even honestly say I think I am pretty, why the reticence to show off the curves in warm weather?  Have I truly been so programed by society's take on beauty that I can't let myself go?  I thought I was better than that.

Out of Whack

Yesterday, the Senate refused to pass a law that would have required a background check for anyone looking to purchase a gun at a gun show or over the internet.  There are many ways to purchase a gun without being checked.  Before anyone screams second amendment at me, the law in question did NOT propose to take any guns away.  It simply sought to close some loopholes in the background checking system.

Let me put this in perspective.  Let's pretend I have a boyfriend.  Let's say my pretend boyfriend is my age, his mid 40s. Let's say we get a little amorous in his mini-van, in a park at night, and the police knock on the window.  Stupid on our part, right?  We should know better and we promise the police that we are going to head straight home, just as soon as we can pull our pants up from around our ankles.

This situation could actually turn out quite bad, for me. You see, if the police really want to pursue this, we could be charged with indecent exposure.  We could have to go to court.  If found guilty, I could lose my teaching license, even though I was with a consenting adult. You see, a conviction like this puts me on the sex offenders list.

If, let's say, I have been convicted of a felony, let's say a domestic assault charge; I can go to an unlicensed dealer, at a gun show, and purchase a gun, without a background check.

Does this make sense to anyone?

Music

I read an article from the Guardian this morning about how powerful music is in our lives. The author talks about the tears that flow every time she hears a song that reminds her of her grandmother's death.

I get this. There are a number of songs that trigger strong emotional reactions in me.  Sometimes, a song can transport me to a time long ago.  Sometimes, there are words or lines in a song that reminds me of someone or an event.

For example, I get very emotional every time I hear Stevie Wonder's "As" It stirs my deep love for my son, especially the line "I'll be loving you always."  It makes my eyes watery because I frankly never believed that I could feel unconditional love for anyone.

On a happier note, "Labelled With Love"  will forever remind me a magical night at the Pelton Arms during the summer of 2011, a trip that started my love affair with London.

More recently, I've been a obsessed with Adele's "Turning Tables" because it reminds me of someone who hurt me in a way that resulted in the end of a relationship that I didn't want to end.

What song or songs trigger that emotional response in you?  Feel free to leave a link to a video.