Saturday, November 6, 2010

Between two worlds

I went to a one hour lecture on getting published. The lecture was offered through BookFest Windsor. The gentleman who spoke gave great advice - even just about little things. The first thing I can do is order business cards. The next thing I think I can do is record myself reading some of the poems I've written and upload those videos to YouTube. I was happy to hear that an agent is not a necessity and even happier to hear that John Grisham's A Time to Kill was rejected 27 times and that he published it himself. I need to read more, which means I'll have to outsource other jobs like sleeping, but that's okay.

Two bits of advice he gave, that I already knew, pulled down my spirits a bit. I need regular time to write, where no one bothers me. That is difficult with a six year old. The other is that my story (set in an American high school) probably needs an American publisher. That means I need to spend more time in the States, making connections, attending literary events, and going to book conferences. I like to do all of those things, but I am mom to a six year old boy, who needs me.

But, you say, aren't you married? I've not yet said this publicly, but here it is: my marriage is on shaky grounds and well, it might not survive. If I start heavily pursuing the publication of my book, will it be used against me? The time that I spend doing what I have to get the book published means less time with my son. Will I be seen as some unfit, narcissistic mother? That's not who I am and yet I have this dream that is within reach. How do I balance all of that with a bazillion papers to grade? I've already given up on a neat and tidy home, and I am seriously considering paying someone to do that. Most importantly, if this all falls apart, how do I keep my baby and publish my book?

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