Thursday, April 19, 2012

Life is like cake

I've waited a while to write about Andrew's latest assessment because I really needed to digest the results. There's a lot to think about now

He is still on the spectrum. No surprise there. What the psychiatrist wanted us to think about in addition to ASD was something she called Child Maltreatment Syndrome. This refers to the long-term damage caused by early childhood trauma - like abandonment, neglect, and malnourishment. Boys are, like autism, more likely to suffer permanent damage. The research that I've read suggests that if a child is abused in someway at vital stages in early development, the brain wires incorrectly. This incorrect wiring makes it difficult for the child to form appropriate bonds. Disorganized attachment. My greatest fear from day one of the adoption process.

This has weighed on my mind heavily ever since it was suggested to us. While in San Diego, I often thought is it good for Andrew that I take these little trips. I would be miserable without them, but shouldn't I sacrifice for him?

We worked so hard on attachment in those early days, before autism became our number one focus. Now we have a two front battle to wage, all with one goal. How to best help Andrew grow into a strong, independent adult - in spite of his traumatic early days? Those days which, if I think about them too much, hurt my heart.

I think I know where to go to try and get answers: the adoption agency, adoption experts. It's just another layer to add to this cake I call life.

2 comments:

Jason said...

On the positive side, there is recent research about the brain's ability to create new neural connections at all points in life. It has been evidenced in stroke patients. Also, evidence suggests that a good family bond and motivation helps to increase the speed and strength of those new networks, so you have that in your favor too! :)

Teacher Toni said...

Thanks Jason!

We've done some work along these lines when we thought we were just dealing with autism. It was very time consuming - no time for regular play. I have to find another method or bite the bullet on the time. I found most people who were following the same path as us home-schooled their kids. Not exactly an option for me.