To you

Hi,

I wanted to write this note to tell you that there is not a day that goes by that I don't think about you. I can't help myself; every time I look around at my life, I see you. 

Every day, I spend a couple of minutes reflecting on the tremendous sacrifice you made in your life.  And how I benefited from that sacrifice.  And I cry a little each time. I cry out of joy, out of heartache, and out of fear that I am not worthy of all that you gave up.

I'll never know what your circumstances were.  Perhaps you were a frightened teenage girl.  Perhaps a rape victim.  Perhaps you already had one child and could not keep another.  All I know is that on August 5, 2004, you laid a small, beautiful baby boy on the floor of a bus station in Changzhou and left him there.  I don't know how long you lingered.  I cannot imagine the ache you felt in your soul as you eventually turned from your...our son.  All I do know is this act saved my life.

His name is Andrew and without him, I would have withered away.  Without a doubt, I would have become an embittered, lonely English teacher who drank herself to sleep every night. Instead, I am smothered in hugs and kisses and peppered with questions.  I receive sullen answers and the the stink eye. My hand is tugged by a smaller hand to view the wonders the world offers. Thanks to you, I'm a mom.

On occasion, Andrew asks about you; he wonders if you loved him. I look into his eyes, his face - reflections of yours - and tell him of course. I tell him that you loved him enough to make sure he would go some place safe until we (his parents) could come get him.

I hope that you find peace.  I have never, for a moment, judged you by the decision you made.  Your government gave you few choices. I do envy that you were able to carry him with you for nine months.  But, because of you, I am his mom.  For that, I am forever grateful.

Thank you.

Teacher Evaluations

There are approximately 30 days left in the school year.  Of those, we have a half-day just before the Memorial Day weekend and three half-days for final exams. I'm thrilled and nervous all at once.  You see, I have not yet been evaluated.

In years past, I wouldn't worry about an issue like this.  Last year, I was one of the highest rated teachers in the building, for what it's worth.  But, thanks to the new tenure law in Michigan, I must worry. Even though I have been unable to locate the exact wording, I do know that the law states that if a teacher is NOT evaluated, the rating for that teacher defaults to an ineffective rating.  That's right, if my boss does not evaluate me, I will be automatically deemed ineffective. Three ineffective ratings in a row and a teacher can lose her license.  It boggles my mind. 

Does this make any sense to anyone?  Are there any other professions that have been hounded like teachers? Please contact your people in Lansing and tell them that this situation is deplorable.

In the meantime, I will sit back and see what happens with my situation.  If I am not evaluated, I will contact my union and see what my rights are to fight back.