Friday, May 2, 2014

The struggle continues

I had to finally change my  game plan for coping with my depression.  The dark feelings had greatly increased lately and I knew that I would break.  Instead, I applied the brakes. I applied for and got a family medical leave.  To focus on my depression.  To focus on the various manifestations of my depression.  The gastric problems that have surfaced.  The nightly deluge of tears.  The absolute horrific mess my house is.  No more.  I need to get off the train for a while and regroup.

I made my decision while sitting and looking at the Grand Canyon.   It is such a beautiful place.  I realized that needed peace in order to restore my health.  So, I when I got home, I walked off the edge, into a leave.  I will very likely hurt financially during this leave.  I'm okay with that. Finances can be restored, lost health cannot.  Moments, days, weeks lost to worry and depression cannot.

Today, I start over, with a fresh focus.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

Mental heath issues are no less important than physical health issues. Get healthy and you can work the rest out. We are rooting for you and I'm proud of the courage it must have taken to take this leave.

Teacher Toni said...

Thanks Liz. Lunch with you would help. With or without enfants.