An Up Date

When a parent thinks that her child might have a condition like Asperger's, the best thing to do is to get right to business.

Yesterday, I told Andrew's teacher that we wanted to proceed with any testing that would be available. She in turned got word to the special education coordinator for my son's school. Because she knows my husband, she e-mailed him, asking him to call.

He spoke with the special education coordinator who told him that the waiting list for testing through the school district is a year. She suggested that we use Children First. This is an organization with which we have been involved since Andrew came home. They have helped us with information about attachment, speech/language development, and even toilet training. To be honest, I don't know what we would have done without all of the wonderful people from their organization.

I e-mailed the speech pathologist who has been assigned to Andrew's case for the whole time. No sooner had I done that than she knocked on our door. It turned out that we had an appointment today with her and the social worker. We had not written down the appointment, so we weren't expecting them. They will put us on their testing waiting list. Unlike the school, the wait list for Children First is only seven or eight months long. That means some time in the fall, Andrew will be assessed.

In the meantime, on top of all the reading I have to do for the AP course, I will now have to add books about Asperger's. It seems I always have four books on the go. Maybe that is why I never finish one.

Thank you to everyone who has sent ways thoughts this way. I truly appreciate it.

The 'A' word

There has been a small portion of my brain and heart that has dreaded this moment for a long time. As I picked Andrew up from school, the para-professional who has been working with him mentioned that she attended a workshop yesterday. That workshop was about Asperger's Syndrome. She said, "You know Miss, he fits many of the symptoms." I abruptly nodded my head and said, "I know." I didn't mean to be so rude to her. She has been wonderful with Andrew. Patient and loving, she has worked hard to help Andrew integrate with his class mates.

As the Mayo Clinic site states, all kids have quirks. It evens reassures parents that just because your child displays a couple a symptoms, it doesn't means that your child has Aperger's.

Andrew displays five symptoms in a fairly over-the-top manner.

1. One-sided conversations: This accounts for about 80% of my day. Andrew will get lost in his own obsessive train of thought (i.e. How many years until I am 20? What will my voice sound like when I'm 20?) to the point that he doesn't even hear me asking him to put his boots on. Either I end up raising my voices (which causes an Andrew meltdown) or I have to physically drag him to the boots and force them into his hands. Every fucking morning - this is our routine.

2.Lack of eye contact: Since day one, we have worked on eye contact, as a means of attachment. Adopted children have a tendency to avoid eye contact, so this has been a huge issue in our house. Still, if we ask Andrew to look at us, he'll look at the top of our head, over the shoulder - any place but our eyes.

3. Intense obsession over one or two objects: I would cry almost everyday in the fall because Andrew felt compelled to pick up every leaf, acorn, or pine cone we would see on the sidewalk while walking to school. His constant yanking on my arms gave me a mild case of carpel tunnel. It also took us forever to get to school and garnered him the nickname - Nature Boy.

4.Lack of empathy: He has been getting better here. Just yesterday, he asked me how my back was feeling. There are many times where he doesn't pick up social cues from his classmates. Today, as we were leaving, a little girl gave him a hug and he just stood there until I encouraged him to hug her back.

5. Poor coordination: This has been another major area of concern since day one. For the first two weeks, Andrew's 14 month-old back muscles were so weak he would randomly flop over knock his little head on the ground. He's better now, but his core muscles still show signs of weakness.

Mother's intuition has told me that somewhere along the line, a teacher would express these concerns about Andrew. My husband has tried to allay those concerns by telling me that Andrew is a "young" four. I don't know. I sense that we will enter the testing before the end of the year.

Funny boy

The other night, my son Andrew made a very funny comment at dinner. He stated quite directly that he wanted to be a girl. I am a very open-minded, progressive woman, but those words out of my four year old's mouth threw me for a loop.

I took a deep breath and asked him why. He explained that he like girls, especially ones who wore pretty clothes. "Oh", I said, "what kind of pretty clothes?" Andrew thought for a second as he explored his dinner plate with his fingers. It turns out that my son likes girls who wear clothes with flower patterns.

A Double Whammy

Well, the results from the second test are in and it's official, I have spinal osteoporosis. The surprise was that I am also developing arthritis in my lower back. This came as a shock as I have not been really suffering any unusual back discomfort.

My doctor has prescribed Actenol and physical therapy so I can really focus in on strengthening by back and ab muscles.

If I were not trying to lose weight, I might have dived nose first into a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chocolate Brownie ice cream. Or Cherry Garcia. Alas, I fought off the urge and maintained some will power. The ice cream would have given me a huge calcium bump today.

Not exactly nostalgia

I'm not a very sentimental person. I don't sit around moping about the inevitable changes that happen to places that tie me to my past. Of all the places that have disappeared since my wistful youth, I only miss three of them - School Kids Records, Drakes, and the original Borders. Ironically, all of those places were within three blocks of each other in Ann Arbor.

Lately, I have been feeling like I'm missing the past, a little. I find that I miss living in the States.

I was overwhelmed with the desire to move home last weekend. I was running errands in the Detroit area and quite suddenly it hit me. I sense that this feeling has been growing since the presidential election. I want very much to do what I can to help fix the mess from the past eight years. Here in Windsor, my ability to affect change in the States is somewhat muted. I know that I should concentrate on helping Windsor through the same tough times that Detroit is experiencing. I just don't feel the same attachment to Windsor as I feel to Detroit. If someone asks me where I'm from, I'm still just as likely to say Detroit.

Maybe once the weather breaks I'll start to reconnect with my neighborhood.