The only thing we have to fear is...starting all over

In a little over two weeks, I will stand in front of 30 teenagers for an hour at a time a attempt to engage their minds with the greatest authors our country has produced. I have done this job for 13 years, but not for the past year. I am scared that I have lost whatever touch I had gained in the previous 13 years.

My strength as a teacher is the rapport that I have with my students. I can empathize with them as my painful teenage years still run crystal clear in my head. I remember the confusion, the optimism, the anger, the angst, and the reckless joy that I felt, sometimes within minutes of each other. I remember wanting more than whatever my treeless suburban life was offering me. My ability to conjure up these feelings allow me to treat my students with respect that many adults cannot find when dealing with high school students.

As I face the prospect of returning after my year of respite, I fear that I won't be able to be as effective as I had been. The daily grind of marking papers, running Student Council, cooking, running a household prevented me some exploring long lost dreams and goals. Will I be able to maintain a workout schedule that will keep off the weight I've lost? Will I find the precious time to write 600-1000 words a day in my novel? If I lose either of those long desired wants, will it affect me in the classroom? Somewhere else?

Unlike a rookie teacher, I fully understand what is about to hit me as soon as the kids hit the door. I can't help but wonder if ignorance isn't bliss.