Last year, I started a tradition with Andrew. Every Sunday, he and I go the the cheese market to purchase cheese that he will take as a snack to school. Before I go further, I have to tell you that Andrew has always (or almost always) had an adventurous palate. He loves olives and beans of all sorts. I have been very lucky that he is not a picky eater. It makes planning meals much easier.
Anyway, he and I go every Sunday to choose his snack cheese for the week. The people at the cheese shop are super nice and will give customers a small taste of a cheese if requested. This is an essential part of our tradition. Andrew points to a cheese and politely asks for a taste. We get a taste and he proclaims that he either likes it or not. If he does, we purchase enough for a week's worth of snacks. He, true to his adventurous nature, does not stick with the simple cheddar cheeses of the world. Nope, has tried everything from Wesleydale (with a variety of fruits inside) to some strong Dutch cheese, that most adults can't handle. He has had dozens of world cheeses and has liked them all. I really need to remind myself to keep track of all of them.
Today at the market, he declared that he wanted brie for lunch (oh, okay, twist my arm) and that for snack, he wanted a French cheese, that he had NOT tried before, that also contained no wine. I thought the ladies behind the counter were going to bust a gut. Then, he asked me to read the signs that were at the top of the display case. He did not wish to hear about the Canadian cheeses nor the Quebecois cheeses. The next sign said French and this was our stop. I read through the list and nothing caught his attention until the last one- Chaumes. It was of course, the most expensive French cheese available. We tried it and it was lovely, so I dug in my pocket and bought 6 ounces, along with some fancy crackers. I have a feeling that my kid is the only one in his class to not bring string cheese to school and I am way beyond okay with that.
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
I know that I can't bring them home with me, but...
Over my 15 year teaching career, I have had far too many students with heartbreaking stories. No child should have to experience what these babies had to endure. There was the boy whose mother was a prostitute who was murdered in a hotel. There were the sisters who witnessed their father kill their mother and then himself. There are the far too many to count kids with addicts for parents. There was the kid whose mom called him an asshole in front of me. With all of them, I have tried my best to be both sympathetic and empathetic, without giving up my own comforts and life, because I know how it easy it would be to try and take on their burdens.
Today, I gave a student a ride home. He is a special education student with a reading level around 3rd grade. I've been trying to work with him, but he has been very reluctant. He is a very nice young man, who occasionally acts far too impulsively and immaturely. He has no parents. Well, after giving birth to a series (4 or 5) of babies, his mother lost custody of them. I haven't even attempted to ask him about his dad, though I will. This young man with a big cheery smile has raised himself. Sure he's been in foster care and boys' homes, but as he told me today, he has taught himself all the survival skills he currently possesses. That doesn't make me feel very good.
He does not live in Hamtramck (where I actually teach), but in Detroit. He has not always lived in this current location, but this looks like it's going to be home for a while. He usually catches a ride or the bus, which is a hell of a ride. I think that he said he had to be on the bus by 6 a.m. if he is going to be on time for the 7:50 start. As we drove to his street, the main street became rougher looking, with fewer and fewer open store fronts. I was too busy chatting and driving, but I did not see anything that resembled a major grocery store. When we approached his street, he warned me to be sure to go slow, because there were huge potholes and sure enough, there was a construction barrel in the middle of the street, sitting in a hole about three feet wide and a half-foot deep. I didn't count, but at least 90 percent of the homes were abandoned and boarded up. He told me that he never goes outside in this neighborhood because some crackhead will start harassing him. When he gets home from wrestling, he goes in the house and watches t.v. Homework doesn't happen because his skills are too low and he lives alone - no adult supervision. This is the first year that he has been my student and he did not start off in our system. He is supposed to graduate in June. What will he do? I want to wrap him up, bring him home, and make sure that someone finally looks out for him. I can't, but he will be my project for the rest of the year. He cannot leave high school with so few options.
He's just one kid. Now think about a city like Detroit where the poverty rate in through the roof. How do we let our babies down like this?
Today, I gave a student a ride home. He is a special education student with a reading level around 3rd grade. I've been trying to work with him, but he has been very reluctant. He is a very nice young man, who occasionally acts far too impulsively and immaturely. He has no parents. Well, after giving birth to a series (4 or 5) of babies, his mother lost custody of them. I haven't even attempted to ask him about his dad, though I will. This young man with a big cheery smile has raised himself. Sure he's been in foster care and boys' homes, but as he told me today, he has taught himself all the survival skills he currently possesses. That doesn't make me feel very good.
He does not live in Hamtramck (where I actually teach), but in Detroit. He has not always lived in this current location, but this looks like it's going to be home for a while. He usually catches a ride or the bus, which is a hell of a ride. I think that he said he had to be on the bus by 6 a.m. if he is going to be on time for the 7:50 start. As we drove to his street, the main street became rougher looking, with fewer and fewer open store fronts. I was too busy chatting and driving, but I did not see anything that resembled a major grocery store. When we approached his street, he warned me to be sure to go slow, because there were huge potholes and sure enough, there was a construction barrel in the middle of the street, sitting in a hole about three feet wide and a half-foot deep. I didn't count, but at least 90 percent of the homes were abandoned and boarded up. He told me that he never goes outside in this neighborhood because some crackhead will start harassing him. When he gets home from wrestling, he goes in the house and watches t.v. Homework doesn't happen because his skills are too low and he lives alone - no adult supervision. This is the first year that he has been my student and he did not start off in our system. He is supposed to graduate in June. What will he do? I want to wrap him up, bring him home, and make sure that someone finally looks out for him. I can't, but he will be my project for the rest of the year. He cannot leave high school with so few options.
He's just one kid. Now think about a city like Detroit where the poverty rate in through the roof. How do we let our babies down like this?
Monday, January 25, 2010
One of those women
When I got married, I decided to NOT change my last name. I cannot really say why, I just did not want to. I like my last name. It is funny how here in the 21st century people will still not fully accept a woman for making that decision.
At the time, the wife of a friend asked me, basically, what my problem was. My mother hyphenated all the mail she sent to my house. My friends also hyphenated my name. Heck, sometimes my friends, who knew my decision, would send a card to me with my husband's last name. I understood older people, for example my mother-in-law, but I just did not understand those people under fifty, especially women.
Even better is if I cross the border with Andrew alone. He and his father have the same last name. The Homeland Security officers often ask me why I have a different last name. I usually try to lighten the mood, rather than snap, and explain that I am one of THOSE women. That actually works. Is there still a stigma attached to women who do not change their names after marriage?
At the time, the wife of a friend asked me, basically, what my problem was. My mother hyphenated all the mail she sent to my house. My friends also hyphenated my name. Heck, sometimes my friends, who knew my decision, would send a card to me with my husband's last name. I understood older people, for example my mother-in-law, but I just did not understand those people under fifty, especially women.
Even better is if I cross the border with Andrew alone. He and his father have the same last name. The Homeland Security officers often ask me why I have a different last name. I usually try to lighten the mood, rather than snap, and explain that I am one of THOSE women. That actually works. Is there still a stigma attached to women who do not change their names after marriage?
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Now what
I had an appointment with an editor today and I am currently more confused than I had been previously.
I made the appointment because I wanted some neutral third party feedback. A couple of my friends from school and a writer friend have read my book, but who among them will tell me to get my damn verbs in order or tell me that my characters are flat. I might cry upon hearing those words, but if that is the case (and I know that my verb tenses are a mess) than I need to hear it.
This editor works at home and is currently editing a full-length non-fiction book. I can only imagine that a task like that is enormous. She asked me about my story and I told her and the reaction was, well, nothing. Not even a hint that my story might spark some interest in people outside of the teaching profession. I have always realized that my target audience might be too narrow, but I have been working hard at keep teacher-talk to a minimum.
She gave it a cursory glance, told me that my beginning was a little confusing and could be stronger. Okay, fair. That was it. I did not expect her to read all 31 pages that I brought, but I thought that a glace at each chapter might be in order.We then talked about the process, how extensive the notes would be, cost, and a time frame. I don't expect to be done with the book until next December. I could not, however, expect any feedback from her until March. I did not sign a contract, and I am glad, because I am having some second thoughts.
Should I look for an editor with a little more time? Should I look for one that seems to show a hint of interest in the story? I just don't know.
I made the appointment because I wanted some neutral third party feedback. A couple of my friends from school and a writer friend have read my book, but who among them will tell me to get my damn verbs in order or tell me that my characters are flat. I might cry upon hearing those words, but if that is the case (and I know that my verb tenses are a mess) than I need to hear it.
This editor works at home and is currently editing a full-length non-fiction book. I can only imagine that a task like that is enormous. She asked me about my story and I told her and the reaction was, well, nothing. Not even a hint that my story might spark some interest in people outside of the teaching profession. I have always realized that my target audience might be too narrow, but I have been working hard at keep teacher-talk to a minimum.
She gave it a cursory glance, told me that my beginning was a little confusing and could be stronger. Okay, fair. That was it. I did not expect her to read all 31 pages that I brought, but I thought that a glace at each chapter might be in order.We then talked about the process, how extensive the notes would be, cost, and a time frame. I don't expect to be done with the book until next December. I could not, however, expect any feedback from her until March. I did not sign a contract, and I am glad, because I am having some second thoughts.
Should I look for an editor with a little more time? Should I look for one that seems to show a hint of interest in the story? I just don't know.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Goals, not resolutions
A resolution sounds so definitive. That is why I don't make New Year's resolutions. I usually end up completely disappointed in myself for breaking these grand proclamations. What I prefer to do is to set some reasonably attainable goals and see how that goes.
My first goal is to finish the novel by the end of 2010. I am currently in chapter seven and I need to go back and fill in some research. I'm not worried about that. I need to try and give myself 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week to write. Ideally, I would write everyday, but I'm trying to be reasonable.
Another goal is to have more Andrew and momma dates. Since I've returned to work, I've become completely bogged down in grading, planning, or recovering. I have not spent time with Andrew the way I'd like, so that will change.
I'd like to read more, primarily non-school books. I'm hoping to be able to get through a book every month, either fiction or non-fiction. Again, since school started, I hardly have time to read the paper and that has to stop.
When I was in high school, I lived and breathed music. I knew the coolest bands not on regular radio. I'd like to discover a few of those bands this year. If a radio station plays Lady Gaga, then it won't play the bands I want to hear. If you've got any suggestions, I'll take them. Also in the category of music, I would love to attend four or five non-Tilbrook concerts. Of course, I'd settle for two Tilbrook Detroit area shows.
There are a gazillion jobs to do here in my old house. Many of them can be done without the aid of a contractor. Alas, they remain undone. I have decided to just do them myself and if I can't I am going to hire someone who can.
Finally, after attending my uncle's funeral, I realize that there are three cousins with whom I'd really like to reconnect. I'm going to work hard to make that happen.
Do you make resolutions or set goals for a new year? What are they?
My first goal is to finish the novel by the end of 2010. I am currently in chapter seven and I need to go back and fill in some research. I'm not worried about that. I need to try and give myself 30 minutes 3 or 4 times a week to write. Ideally, I would write everyday, but I'm trying to be reasonable.
Another goal is to have more Andrew and momma dates. Since I've returned to work, I've become completely bogged down in grading, planning, or recovering. I have not spent time with Andrew the way I'd like, so that will change.
I'd like to read more, primarily non-school books. I'm hoping to be able to get through a book every month, either fiction or non-fiction. Again, since school started, I hardly have time to read the paper and that has to stop.
When I was in high school, I lived and breathed music. I knew the coolest bands not on regular radio. I'd like to discover a few of those bands this year. If a radio station plays Lady Gaga, then it won't play the bands I want to hear. If you've got any suggestions, I'll take them. Also in the category of music, I would love to attend four or five non-Tilbrook concerts. Of course, I'd settle for two Tilbrook Detroit area shows.
There are a gazillion jobs to do here in my old house. Many of them can be done without the aid of a contractor. Alas, they remain undone. I have decided to just do them myself and if I can't I am going to hire someone who can.
Finally, after attending my uncle's funeral, I realize that there are three cousins with whom I'd really like to reconnect. I'm going to work hard to make that happen.
Do you make resolutions or set goals for a new year? What are they?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)