Before I'm In A Nursing Home

At the rate I've been composing this list of 50 things I want to do before I turn 50, I'll be retired, on Chris Christie's timeline. I think I will offer up ten more items today.

1. Simplify. Simplify. Simplify.  It's time to start shedding things I don't need or use.  For living on my own, I sure do have a bunch of crap.

2.  I have now lived in Windsor since 2002 and still know very little about my adopted home. One of my favorite sensory delights in the city is the smell of the distillery at Wisers (formerly Hiram Walker).  I have been meaning to take a tour.  This will be an easy one to check off the list.

3. Wine is my preferred adult beverage, so it would be nice to tour some wineries that are in located in Essex County.

4.  I have a bread machine.  It makes my life easy.  I want to make bread without the machine, which will overcome a slight fear I have.  This fear is less than the pie crust fear, it is still a fear.

5.  Once Andrew learns to ride his bike, a simple desire I have is to bike around Belle Isle with him.

6. This (former) English teacher has read neither Moby Dick nor War and Peace.  I now have more time for reading, so it's time to figure out what the big deal is about at least one of them.

7.  In my continued efforts to give less of my money to the corporations that are ruling (and often ruining) our world, I want to make all of my own cleaning products.

8.  Another reading goal - this time The Communist Manifesto.  I am sure that many are surprised I haven't read this.  I also have not read The Wealth of Nations because, to be honest, economic theory gives me a headache.  I'll try to read both of them.

9.  This is likely a bad idea, given my various back troubles, but I want to try a skateboard.

10.  I'm not fond of touristy stuff (except the Eiffel Tour), but I really want to ride the London Eye this fall.  I'm sure the view is spectacular.

Five More Before Fifty

I started this series the other day, but work has been crazy busy, so I haven't even had the energy to write.  Sleeping in today gave me the boost I needed, so here are five more things to do before 50.

1.  I'd like to get involved and stay involved with some sort of community garden project. The yard at my duplex is not conducive to gardening, too much shade.  I, however, want to grow some of my own food as my own little gesture of telling Monsanto and factory farming to f-off. Plus, I might finally make some friends in Windsor. 

2. Before I turn 50, I am going to read some of my poems at an open mic poetry night.  I've already been on stage for the MOTH Story Slam.  This makes me a bit more nervous, but not paralyzed with fear. 

3. I've lost a bit of confidence in my writing abilities of late.  I can't bear to look at the novel I've written because it now sounds trite and trivial to me.  That said, it would be nice to find a little mojo and get back to writing and enter a contest - just to prove to myself that someone might like my work.

4.  An area in which I have never lost any confidence in the area of photography.  I'm no Dorothea Lange , but I have always been happy with my ability to compose a shot.  That said, I have never entered any of my work into a contest. It's time to change that.

5. Who wants to explore an abandoned building with me?  There's something enticing and inviting about a building that has been left to Mother Nature.  I understand the risks; they don't dampen my curiosity, though.

Class anxiety

I am not feeling anxious about the classes I am teaching.  As a matter of fact, I am, at this moment, feeling like a pretty competent teacher.  Instead, the class to which I am referring is socio-economic class.  Based on my income, I am  middle class.  I was born middle class, though I might not die middle class.  That's too morbid to muse on a Sunday morning, so let's not.

Thanks to the draconian educational policies that currently exist, I am not securely middle class.  Should I lose my job, who knows what I will do. I need, therefore, to try to put aside some money, and come up with some sort of investment plan.  I think I can do all of that and still travel.  This post isn't about any of that.

I have both spinal arthritis and spinal osteoporosis.  On most days, I don't suffer from too much pain.  A little here, a little there - nothing the heating pad can't handle.  I am, however, finding it more and more difficult to complete a handful of household cleaning tasks without being incapacitated for 24 hours. I know this going into the cleaning, thus I avoid these tasks for slightly longer than I should.  Eww. 

I hate letting things get dirty and I hate pain, so I have fully come to the realization that I need to hire someone to do clean five things in my house: the kitchen floor, the bathroom floors (one full bath and one w.c), both the toilets (the bases, not the bowls), and the tub. 

My problem is that I don't want to hire someone to essentially clean up my shit.  In high school, I cleaned two houses and did not enjoy the experiences.  I have read Nickeled and Dimed by Barbara Ehrenreich, I know that many cleaning companies treat their employees like dirt.  The injury rate is high for these women. And yet, I am aware that sometimes any job is better than no job.  I even know that I cannot physically handle cleaning these areas.  None of that seems to mitigate the guilt that I am feeling as I am about to look for someone to hire. I am feeling a kind of middle class guilt about hiring someone who has slipped to, what is essentially, the bottom of the food chain. To be honest, I'm not so sure that I won't slip that far myself.

This is first world problem that I am sure will be mocked by someone, somewhere. I can't help that.  I just hope that I am not the only person who has ever felt this way.

A meditation on age

I turn 42 tomorrow. Unlike some female stereotype, I do not hesitate to state my age. Over the years, students have often told me that I don't look my age. They have said this at 30 and at 40. I'm not too sure what one is supposed to look like at any given age.

I am surprised how many of my peers stopped celebrating their birthdays. Some have said that they don't want to be reminded of how old they are getting - as if ignoring the slow march will stop it. Personally, I've never been big on birthday parties for me, so celebrating has usually meant a special dinner. Hitting 40 has made me realize that there is still lots of time and that there are about a billion things I'd like to do or see. I have some of these events pegged to certain birthdays. I don't consider these things to be a bucket list, but I guess that it could be taken this way. Here are a five of the more appropriate things I've just got to do.

1. For birthday 45, I'm going to Wimbledon, for the fortnight. I have loved this tournament since I was a kid and I've decided to go. I have a couple of friend lined up and once I start collecting a paycheck in the fall, I'm going to start a little Wimbledon account.

2. Go to the Grand Canyon. Growing up, my family did not really travel. There were no summer cottages, no summer camp. We'd stayed at home. Because of that, I've missed out on this spectacular sight.

3. Publish my book. Dammit, if it's the last thing I do, I will get this thing finished and published and at least a handful of strangers will buy it.

4. Go back to China. I hope that one day, Andrew will want to go back to China. I want to see the country without feeling the exhaustion I felt on the first trip. I need to see Changzhou, the Andrew's actual hometown.

5. Get back to Paris and go to Florence. I can't imagine that I need to explain either of these. Was David a real guy?

What are those places you just have to visit?